Behavior 9: The Unforgiving Vindicator

 These types of behaviors usually manifest after a spat with a friend or partner.  The other person either acknowledges a mistake they made and apologizes or does not believe their behavior was out of line in the first place.  In response to this, the Unforgiving Vindicator feels hurt, but rather than just saying that they feel hurt and moving on, they cannot seem to let go of the wound inflicted by the other person and it begins to fester, poisoning the relationship. 


Although I have seen this type of behavior in men, it usually manifests in women who have been hurt/disappointed by a boyfriend or friend.  What usually happens is that the person tends to be aggravated by something they perceive as a slight and then, they just focus on it.  This prevents any further good the other person may do.  For example, a guy forgets his girlfriend's birthday, so the girl is angry (and rightfully so).  However, after the guy takes her to the restaurant or makes her a nice dinner at home, she seems fine but can't seem to let go of the insult and, as a result of her obsession, the nice deed the guy did in order to be forgiven is negated.    This behavior can be an especially destructive force in any friendship/relationship since it pollutes it and clouds the person's judgement.  A sane relationship involves forgiving and forgetting, not obsessing. 

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