Behavior 8: The Hypocritical Compromiser

 

This type of behavior is usually associated with people who claim to be willing to compromise and be fair, but in the end, they cannot abide by the terms of the compromise they forged.  This is because they refuse to see that there is anything wrong with their behavior and, instead, are only focused on how they want the other person to change.  A compromise typically involves two people who dislike something about the other person or a behavior they consider harmful to the relationship.  In a true compromise, both people agree to give up something or change their behavior in exchange for their partner changing something.

Unfortunately, the Hypocritical Compromiser was never interested in their personal change.  They are satisfied with who they are as an individual and don't believe that they need to change the behavior that bothers the other person.  Although the fact that they do not wish to change is not problematic in itself, the true problem is that they still want to benefit from the compromise by having the other person agree to give up the behavior that bothers them.  At the apex of deceit, these people compromise temporarily until they relapse and force the other person to compromise on something else, while they use the same behavior they were suppose to stop as a bargaining chip in future negotiations. 

Example 

Compromise 1. 
Person A agrees to pick up their clothes in exchange for Person B not playing video games all day.

Compromise 2 (one month later)
Person A agrees to pick up their clothes in exchange for Person B not going out with his friends on weekends. 

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